Adult Hypocrisy About Children and Technology Knows No Bounds

Posted on 04/11/2024 by Stephen Seyfer

“My hypocrisy knows no bounds.” This is a memorable line by Doc Holliday in the movie, “Tombstone”. In another context Doc’s line is an accurate portrayal of adult perception of children, their cell phones, screen time, and social media use and generational distress.

This morning, I listened to a podcast conversation. Three participants, nationally recognizable people, mulled how cell phones and screen time cause depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues for children. They each told personal and professional stories to support the contention that cellphones, screen time, and social media are root causes of why so many children are distressed. I heard teeth gnashing and “isn’t it awful” sermonizing about the ill effects of technology, as if only children use technology.

“Balderdash”, I said aloud. “Just one more case of adults telling children to ‘do as I say, not as I do’”. If too much time on cellphones, screen time, and social media is bad for children, it is just as bad for adults. “Adults, your hypocrisy once again knows no bounds!”.

Why do I claim adults are hypocrites?

Adults spend as much time using cell phones, screen time, and online social media as children.

Consider the following.

On average, American adults spend more than 11 hours per day watching, reading, listening to, or interacting with screens.
Children aged 8-12 spend an average of 4 hours and 44 minutes per day on screens.
Teens spend an average of 7 hours and 22 minutes per day on screens, not including time spent on screens for schoolwork.
69% of American adults use social media sites, spending an average of 2 hours and 3 minutes per day.
The average person checks their cell phone about 63 times per day.
29% of US adults say they spend more time on screens than they intend to.
97% of children report using a smartphone daily.
51% of seniors aged 60 or older spend more than half of their daily leisure time on screens.
On average, adults consume 15.5 hours of media per day through various devices.

https://gitnux.org/screen-time-statistics

“Adults between the ages of 18 and 29 spend the most time on their smartphones, spending an average of 3 hours and 53 minutes per day.”

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/home/science/parents-spend-three-times-more-time-on-phone-than-what-they-spend-with-children-study/articleshow/106125378.cms#

“Three out of five American parents admit they spend more time on their electronic devices than their kids do.”

https://www.movieguide.org/news-articles/parents-spend-more-time-on-phones-than-withkids.html#:~:text=%E2%80%9CThree%20out%20of%20five%20American,a%20minimum%20of%20two%20devices

“While their timecards might say they are putting in a full day, many employees are devoting all of their time in the office to their work. Many are distracted by their mobile devices, spending hours each day texting, shopping or scrolling on social media.”

https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/10102-mobile-device-employee-distraction.html

No high ground for adults.

Any person can Google information regarding cell phones, on screen time, and the use of social media and arrive at data that may be similar or different. The numbers may vary but the trending statements do not. We, adults, and children alike, spend large amounts of time every day using our cell phones and screen devices. As adults, we chastise children for being on screen too much of their day and night, but we are no more than the pot calling the kettle black.

Of interest, children do not come from the womb with a digital device. I frequently ask kids in school “Who purchased your phone?”, and “Who pays the monthly bills for your cell phone, Internet, and social media?”. 99.9% say, “My parents”. Adults pay for their children’s dependence upon digital devices and then adults proclaim online time to be a child’s problem!

Pogo always is right.

We learned from the “Pogo” comic strip long ago (1948-75), “We have met the enemy, and he is us!”. We, people of all ages, are heavy users of technologies – cell phone, screen devices, and social media. Even my Luddite friends who refuse to buy a cellphone spend hours each day in their workplace on screen, Googling for information, and e-mailing. The only true Luddite today lives in a cave and is invisible to the world. If too much use causes distress and ill-health, then we all are the enemy and we all are victims of self-inflicted distress. Is childhood depression different than adult depression? Do we have entire generations now under a cloud of malaise? Or shall we honestly admit that life in the epoch of technology is distressing.

What now?

Augustus McCrae taught us in Lonesome Dove, “Yesterday is gone and there is no getting it back”. However, if we could make some of tomorrow look like yesterday, consider these.

Insist children go outside and play. But is it safe? Thou shall not fear the neighborhood. Children are 100 times more likely to be hit by lightning than to be kidnapped. Yet we do not panic when children play in the rain or get caught outdoors in a thunderstorm. Encourage them to explore the areas where they live and to enjoy their adventures.
Stop demanding children have cellphones because you worry about school shootings. “I need immediate contact all the time!” Since 2012 only .009% of schools in the US experienced a school shooting. This does not dismiss the serious of school shootings, but most child deaths due to gun violence occur in the home not at school. Strapping children of all ages with a cellphone in case of a violent event at school gives children license to use their cellphone for all reasons but a violent event.
Ask as many children as you are able “What do you think about…?”, and “How do you feel about …?”, and listen. We need to speak person-to-person not through our screens. We want to hear and see them speak, note their body language, and accept their emotions. And we want them to see us doing these things. Then we can tell them what we think and feel with more credibility.
Invite children to “Come with us” and spend more time together. Proximity breeds personal engagement. “Let’s do … together” crosses the boundaries of age and differences and every time we do things together makes the next time more likely to happen.
Shut down our devices, sit beside a child, and just be. Let the children fill in the gaps if they choose to. Stop being the parent all the time; it’s okay to be yourself.

Another good quote about hypocrisy is “My hypocrisy only goes so far”. It is time for us to rein in our hypocrisy instead of reining in the lives of our children.

Readingless Children

Posted on 08/06/2018 by

Parents, this is on you!

“What book are you reading?”, I asked a middle-school aged child. He said, “I don’t read.” And, returned his attention to his tablet where he was engaged in virtual gaming with friends at a distance. I persisted. “Summer is almost over. Surely you read one book this summer.” Without looking up, he said, “Nope.”

I wasn’t overly surprised. When I visit people in their homes, one of the first things I look for, after the amenities have been observed, are books. I look for the presence of books on shelves or end tables or coffee tables or stacked beside a chair or in a wall basket in the bathroom or sticking out from under a bed. In homes with children, books are a vanishing breed. Hardcover or softcover, they are hard to find.

“Ah”, I said, seeing no books laying around. “How many books do you have downloaded on your tablet?” He is, after all, a post-millennial.

“None”, he said. “I just have games and social media sites.” He did not miss a thing on his screen as his friend’s avatars advanced against his fortification.

“The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them,” Mark Twain said. I believe this to be true.

Call me a bibliophile and I won’t argue. I send my grandchildren books for Christmas and birthdays. They are never for want of toys or tee shirts or jeans with holes or running shoes. Little did I know that the books I presented had legs. They walked off to distant places never to be seen again. Now, I am advised not send books. “They won’t read them,” I am told by their parents.

I repeat myself. Parents, this is on you. Parents born of Generation X and Gen X or iGen, tell me “I am so busy with work and family and other things that I need to pick my fights. Getting my kids to read is not a fight I need in my life.” Truth be told, reading is not about a parent’s life, it is all about a child’s life and their life to come.

Still, I persisted with my young gamer. As I watched the activity on his tablet screen from over his shoulder, I could not help myself. “Nice flanking movement. That’s the kind of thing Stonewall Jackson would have done in the Civil War or George Patton would have done in World War Two.”

“Unh huh,” he said moving to counter the flanking.

“What if I give you an iBook gift card? Would you be interested in reading about Stonewall Jackson or General George Patton on your tablet?”

“Nope. I don’t read.”

That got me. I could not help what I said next. “Your tablet is a piece of junk, you know. I read in PC Magazine that the graphics are too slow to make the action life-like. Too bad for you, I guess.”

He paused. “I read that, but they were wrong. Wired said that PC Mag used information from last year’s model to talk about this year’s model that is so much improved. I have this year’s model.”

“So, you do read,” I said. “Do you ever talk with your parents about what you read?”

“No. They aren’t interested in what interests me. And, they never talk to me about what they read.”

And, there it is, Mr. Twain. I amend your timeless quotation.

“The parent who does not encourage a child to read is raising a child who has no advantage over a child who cannot read.”

Bring Your Cell Phones To Class, Please

Posted on 04/04/2018 by

“I read this morning that the 2018 hurricane season will bring one of the strongest cycles of storms in the last 50 years to the east coast. This caused me to wonder what I should tell my family who live on Hilton Head Island, an island on the coast of South Carolina. Should they be worried about hurricanes this summer, especially if the storm surge is more than six feet?”

So said a middle school teacher to her class on a Tuesday morning. Her query suggests a need for children to understand weather, geography, data and predictions in order to formulate an informed answer. The question about a storm surge is more detailed. What is a storm surge and how significant is a six-foot surge to a coastal island?

But, to what extent are children in Wisconsin concerned with a hypothetical question about hurricanes and storm surges in South Carolina? Students obviously listened intently because the teacher was talking to them; some let their attention slip when she mentioned South Carolina. This was not their problem.

What the teacher said next, however, caused all students to become interested.

“Take out your cell phones. Use your cell phone and only your cell phone to get all of the information you need to answer my question. No laptops, IPads or reference books. Please feel free to share any information you find with another student in class, but only do so using a social media app.

Use your note taking app on your cell phone to record all of the data you collect or share. When you and your network of classmates have enough data to answer my question, attach your data record to a text message and send it to me.

Finally, write a letter to my family on Hilton Head. Summarize the most important data you have collected. Make a prediction about how hurricanes may affect Hilton Head Island this year. Suggest what they need to do to “survive” this year’s hurricane season. And, specifically tell them how a storm surge of more than six feet will affect Hilton Head Island given its elevation and local tides.

Write this letter on your laptop. Edit the letter to make it as informative and data-based as you can, and then e-mail your final draft to me.

Now, let’s talk about your initial ideas of how you will accomplish this assignment.”

What made the children in her class become interested in hurricanes and South Carolina is the requirement that they use their cell phones as their only tool for seeking information, recording the information they find, sharing their data with other children, and submitting a final data set to their teacher. Additionally, they are encouraged to use social media to share data with others.

The conceptualization of this assignment is classic school work. The teacher raises a question and sets a parameter for how children are to resolve the question. The difference that marks this assignment is that, instead of keeping their cell phones in their pockets or backpacks and prohibited from using social media in school, they are required to use these everyday technologies to complete a school assignment.

And, why not? When we prepare all children for success in college and career, that preparation needs to be real world and the real world uses everyday technology. Instead of forbidding cell phone and social media in school, this teacher is instructing children how to use these to achieve important learning objectives.