“My hypocrisy knows no bounds.” This is a memorable line by Doc Holliday in the movie, “Tombstone”. In another context Doc’s line is an accurate portrayal of adult perception of children, their cell phones, screen time, and social media use and generational distress.
This morning, I listened to a podcast conversation. Three participants, nationally recognizable people, mulled how cell phones and screen time cause depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues for children. They each told personal and professional stories to support the contention that cellphones, screen time, and social media are root causes of why so many children are distressed. I heard teeth gnashing and “isn’t it awful” sermonizing about the ill effects of technology, as if only children use technology.
“Balderdash”, I said aloud. “Just one more case of adults telling children to ‘do as I say, not as I do’”. If too much time on cellphones, screen time, and social media is bad for children, it is just as bad for adults. “Adults, your hypocrisy once again knows no bounds!”.
Why do I claim adults are hypocrites?
Adults spend as much time using cell phones, screen time, and online social media as children.
Consider the following.
- On average, American adults spend more than 11 hours per day watching, reading, listening to, or interacting with screens.
- Children aged 8-12 spend an average of 4 hours and 44 minutes per day on screens.
- Teens spend an average of 7 hours and 22 minutes per day on screens, not including time spent on screens for schoolwork.
- 69% of American adults use social media sites, spending an average of 2 hours and 3 minutes per day.
- The average person checks their cell phone about 63 times per day.
- 29% of US adults say they spend more time on screens than they intend to.
- 97% of children report using a smartphone daily.
- 51% of seniors aged 60 or older spend more than half of their daily leisure time on screens.
- On average, adults consume 15.5 hours of media per day through various devices.
https://gitnux.org/screen-time-statistics
- “Adults between the ages of 18 and 29 spend the most time on their smartphones, spending an average of 3 hours and 53 minutes per day.”
- “Three out of five American parents admit they spend more time on their electronic devices than their kids do.”
- “While their timecards might say they are putting in a full day, many employees are devoting all of their time in the office to their work. Many are distracted by their mobile devices, spending hours each day texting, shopping or scrolling on social media.”
https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/10102-mobile-device-employee-distraction.html
No high ground for adults.
Any person can Google information regarding cell phones, on screen time, and the use of social media and arrive at data that may be similar or different. The numbers may vary but the trending statements do not. We, adults, and children alike, spend large amounts of time every day using our cell phones and screen devices. As adults, we chastise children for being on screen too much of their day and night, but we are no more than the pot calling the kettle black.
Of interest, children do not come from the womb with a digital device. I frequently ask kids in school “Who purchased your phone?”, and “Who pays the monthly bills for your cell phone, Internet, and social media?”. 99.9% say, “My parents”. Adults pay for their children’s dependence upon digital devices and then adults proclaim online time to be a child’s problem!
Pogo always is right.
We learned from the “Pogo” comic strip long ago (1948-75), “We have met the enemy, and he is us!”. We, people of all ages, are heavy users of technologies – cell phone, screen devices, and social media. Even my Luddite friends who refuse to buy a cellphone spend hours each day in their workplace on screen, Googling for information, and e-mailing. The only true Luddite today lives in a cave and is invisible to the world. If too much use causes distress and ill-health, then we all are the enemy and we all are victims of self-inflicted distress. Is childhood depression different than adult depression? Do we have entire generations now under a cloud of malaise? Or shall we honestly admit that life in the epoch of technology is distressing.
What now?
Augustus McCrae taught us in Lonesome Dove, “Yesterday is gone and there is no getting it back”. However, if we could make some of tomorrow look like yesterday, consider these.
- Insist children go outside and play. But is it safe? Thou shall not fear the neighborhood. Children are 100 times more likely to be hit by lightning than to be kidnapped. Yet we do not panic when children play in the rain or get caught outdoors in a thunderstorm. Encourage them to explore the areas where they live and to enjoy their adventures.
- Stop demanding children have cellphones because you worry about school shootings. “I need immediate contact all the time!” Since 2012 only .009% of schools in the US experienced a school shooting. This does not dismiss the serious of school shootings, but most child deaths due to gun violence occur in the home not at school. Strapping children of all ages with a cellphone in case of a violent event at school gives children license to use their cellphone for all reasons but a violent event.
- Ask as many children as you are able “What do you think about…?”, and “How do you feel about …?”, and listen. We need to speak person-to-person not through our screens. We want to hear and see them speak, note their body language, and accept their emotions. And we want them to see us doing these things. Then we can tell them what we think and feel with more credibility.
- Invite children to “Come with us” and spend more time together. Proximity breeds personal engagement. “Let’s do … together” crosses the boundaries of age and differences and every time we do things together makes the next time more likely to happen.
- Shut down our devices, sit beside a child, and just be. Let the children fill in the gaps if they choose to. Stop being the parent all the time; it’s okay to be yourself.
Another good quote about hypocrisy is “My hypocrisy only goes so far”. It is time for us to rein in our hypocrisy instead of reining in the lives of our children.