It may depend upon who says “Yeah, but…” At the end of the day the consideration of a good “Yeah, but…” often causes us to find and select better options. Other times, what seems like a good “yeah, but” causes grief. I am not certain that people are innately wired to easily and often accept a “Yeah, but”. Most of my friends tend to like their own thinking first. “Yeah, but” clanks against their predilections. Yet, these friends do value that someone has the temerity to interject himself into what would otherwise would be a “think of it and do it my way”. With courtesy, they listen to another idea before providing their own “Yeah, but.” And, so the reasoning through a course of action goes toward a better than what could have been the outcome with a good “yeah, but,” “yeah, but,” and “yeah but.” Some time.
My father worked in “Systems and Procedures” for an international avionics communications corporation. With responsibilities for developing and institutionalizing interactive processes within the business, he clearly knew the value of discussion, consensus, and compliance. In the workplace, there was a time and opportunity for divergent points of view on the path to agreements. Home, however, was a different environment. Father understood the time and trials that possibility thinking with five children could involve. He wanted little of that. Often in speaking to his sons, he would lead or close his words with “There will be no buts about it.” As a son, I understood that my penchant for “buts” would not be abided. Interestingly, when my mother slipped a “yeah, but” into their conversation, father was amenable to the probability that the outcome would be bent in her direction if not hers. The time, place and speaker of “yeah, but” matters.
School offers these same values of and tolerations of divergent thinking that a good “yeah, but” can lead. Somethings in school are non-negotiable. Some “Yeah, buts” get heard only – heard with no anticipated action. “Yeah, but I don’t like milk. Can I have a beer with my lunch?” “Yeah, but he was making fun of me, so I hit him.” “Yeah, but I don’t think learning about fractions is important. I want to work with whole numbers only.” There is a hum of “yeah, buts” in most institutions that are just the routines of talking. Children come to understand that some “yeah, buts” go nowhere.
Other “Yeah buts” cause us to stop and think about the issue being raised. A good “yeah, but” makes us question assumptions that create routines.
“Yeah, but this takes too long.” Children frequently create a single file line to move from one place in school to another. Single files can be orderly. Only seeing the child in front, most children walk or stand in single file without distracting each other. Very orderly. On the other hand, a single file of 25 children takes time walking to the next class or to the cafeteria or to recess. A double-file line takes less time and triple-file even less. “Yeah, but can we trust children to walk side-by-side?” Probably.
“Yeah. I know I should show all the steps I used to resolve this math problem. But, sometimes my mind doesn’t need to list these two steps because step 4 always leads to step 5 and then to step 6, so I just list step 3 with an arrow to 6.” Most math teachers insist in all steps being shown in a student’s solution of an assigned problem. Yet, it is reasonable for a student to demonstrate recognition of the step without displaying the step. A teacher can understand the displayed abbreviation and agree to a “yeah, but.” With reason.
“Yeah, but there is no reason everyone who sits in front of me should see my score on this quiz.” A usual classroom routine is to instruct children to pass their papers forward in the rows of their desks or around their tables so that we can pick up small stack of papers from several places rather walking to pick up each student’s paper individually. When this routine follows a self-checking of quiz or the collection of test papers after a teacher-led discussion of the test items, is a child’s concern for the privacy of their score valid? Sure, it is. A work around could be to have papers passed forward upside down. Or, in a class transition to have each child walk their paper to your collection basket. Or, in a transition for the teacher to collect each student’s paper. “Good suggestion, kiddo!”
“Yeah, buts” are valued in academic discussion. “Yeah, but” is the same as saying “however” or “although” or “have you considered” or “here is another equally good idea.”
They abound in any discussion that opens with “what if” propositions. One hypothesis easily leads to a good “yeah, but” when another child offers oppositional evidence or a different hypothesis. When asked “Just what does the First Amendment tell us about free speech?” causes hands to fly with “yeah, but” examples of what the Amendment does and does not mean or imply. “Is it right for a man to break an oath of confidentiality in order to expose a truth that would be hidden by confidentiality?” opens a discussion of the Pentagon Papers and the Viet Nam War. “Yeah, but” is a phrase designed for a discussion and understanding of controversial issues. Some time we want and work hard to get good “yeah, buts” into the classroom.
Lest we go too far with good “yeah, buts”, some statements should be made and accepted without discussion and “yeah, buts.” No discussion is necessary when the fire alarm gong sounds. Discussion of what “hide, flee, fight” means must resolve all “yeah, buts” so that all children know what to do in the advent of serious school danger.
And, how we respond to “yeah, buts” is important. A reasonable “yeah, but” needs to be heard and responded to reasonably. A child who offers a new idea or asks a valid question, should be treated respectfully and given a considered response. How we respond to a reasonable “yeah, but” will determine if that child asks questions or offers suggestions in the future. Other “yeah, buts” can be answered with a look. “Yeah, but I’m hot and want to take off my shirt” only requires a look.
Good “yeah, buts” belong in school.