A fellow school board member reminds us frequently, “Our children are watching us”. These words alone cut to the quick of every discussion and issue before a school board. The board’s actions must reflect decisions that are in the best interest of the children attending our schools. Noble words? Yes. Mission-based words? Yes. Easy words to enact? Not always.
In the politics of school government each constituency except children has leverage. Parents hold the choice card. If they disagree with board decisions, they can choose a different school. Teachers and staff hold the employment card. There is a statewide shortage in every category of school personnel and a school board knows it. Decisions that cause an unexpected resignation or retirement may create an opening that cannot be filled or, if filled, with a less experienced and qualified person. Community residents hold the voter card to be played at board elections and more importantly in the constant flow of district referenda. A failed referendum denies school needs. And, recall elections of school board members are at an all-time high in 2021.
What about the children? Children do not choose their school. Children do not provide a necessary employment to the school. Children do not vote. Yet, children loom constantly in every board action as their education and nurturing are the only things that really matter in public education.
Two questions should haunt every board member’s mind in their discussion and voting on board motions. How will this decision affect children? What lesson of responsible adult behavior are we teaching our children?
Today, it may be that the second is the more important question. Are adults, board members and constituents speaking and acting like role models for children? If children said and did the things they are seeing and hearing in our behaviors, would we discipline them for their inappropriateness?
I was always whipsawed as a child between adults who said “Do as I do” and “Do as I say”. The lesson of growing up right was to take the best of what you are shown and the best of what you are told to create a model for your adult behavior.
Yet, when I watch YouTube clips of adult behaviors in some school board and local government meetings this year, I wonder where the adults went. What I see in too many stories are not the role models we want children to emulate.
Three concepts from ages past pertain. Respect, civility, and common good. Almost every school mission statement or list of student goals contains words about respect. On an everyday demonstration, we want children to show a considerate regard for the feelings, wishes and wants, rights, and traditions of others. Children tend toward outbursts of the moment, brashness, and acting and saying without a second thought.
It is the second thought of consideration that reigns in disrespect. These are learned and practiced behaviors that help children over time to achieve the second word – civility. Civil behavior, somewhat of an archaic term, is courteous, restrained, responsible, and accountable. Civility follows the Gold Rule of treating others as you wish to be treated. Accountability is an essential part of civility. An adult does not get to say whatever comes to mind without consequence. Respect and civil behavior combine to shape discussions for the common good.
Teaching children to consider what is best for others not just self advances their progress toward maturity. The common good is not ethereal, it is tangible. School boards face decisions in which special interests are apparent. Any decision that gives advantage to some at the disadvantage of the many is not in the common good. On the other hand, a decision that improves the condition or status of a small group and equally shares that improvement with all is in the common good. The pandemic is providing school boards with a constant arena for considering their decisions in terms of the common good. This is a test; are we up to this test.
The children are watching us, their school board, to observe and learn from us. While they may not have material leverage, children have the moral leverage. We adults know we are supposed to be adult-like in our interactions with each other in our board meetings. Very often I would like to use instant replay mechanisms from televised sports. “Time out! We are going to review what these people said and how they acted toward each other. We will break down this clip to identify respect, civil behavior, and working for the common good. Let’s see what we can learn.”
At the end of the day, children will grade us using the same rubrics we use on them everyday in school. They have been watching and they know us for what and who we are.